You certainly don’t have to be best friends with your man’s friends in order to maintain a relationship with him, but it is important to make sure there’s mutual respect. You have to remember that your boyfriend’s friends were probably around long before you and that their opinions matter a lot to him.
Guys tend to have weird bonds with each other that we girls may never understand. Because of these close bonds, it’ll make your boyfriend’s heart flutter to see his friends and his girlfriend getting along. Most guys have friends who you can recognize by different traits; the single player, the nerdy married guy, the unfaithful fiancé, the athlete, the musician, etc.
Regardless of who his friends are, it’s important to allow your man to keep them close. Here are 8 ways to guarantee that his friends will like you!
Hold an actual conversation with them one on one
My boyfriend’s best friend is a bit of a player and the type of guy that I would never dream of my boyfriend turning into, so I had some really harsh feelings towards him in the beginning of my relationship. It took a while for me to really see how extremely close the two are, and what a great friend he is to my boyfriend. Because my boyfriend is important to me, and his best friend is important to him, I took the opportunity to get to know him.
During a night we were all hanging out, while my boyfriend was busy doing other things, I had a long one on one conversation with his best friend, and that conversation has led to many more. While I don’t agree with all of his actions, I’ve learned to accept their relationship for what it is. He and I both have mutual respect for each other now and that has made my boyfriend very happy in the process.
Even if you don’t necessarily love your man’s friends from the start, make an attempt to get to know them. You never know what a huge impact it could have in the long run.
Encourage them to spend time together
If you try to keep your man from his friends, it’ll just cause hard feelings between everybody in the end. If any of your girlfriends are dating a guy who always gets upset when she goes out with you and the girls, I can pretty much guarantee that you’re not rooting for her to get a ring from this one! Your guy’s friends are the same way. If you prevent them from spending time together, eventually you’ll be the girlfriend that they can’t stand and unfortunately for your boyfriend, he and his masculinity are going to take a lot of flack for it. Instead, encourage them to spend time together and do some “manly bonding.”
Bring food & drinks
Men love food. Hell, women love food, too. But, remember that old saying about the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Well, it’s true! If you’re going to be around your man and his friends, bring some pizza and beer, or at least some snacks with you! You’ll definitely score some ‘awesome girlfriend’ points!
Be the type of girlfriend your man can brag about
If you’re constantly fighting and bringing your boyfriend down, he’ll have no reason to talk about you with his friends. Be a happy, supportive, and loving girlfriend instead! Give him the type of relationship that will make his friends jealous every time he talks about you! Like I said, guys have a special bond with each other and they love to see their friends happy, so if they notice how happy you make your man, they’ll love you for it.
(Read 12 Signs That She’s A Keeper)
Don’t let his friends know that you know their secrets
If your boyfriend is sharing his friend’s secrets with you (like the fact that he hooked up with that one girl over the weekend), don’t bring it up to his friend when you see him! My boyfriend’s best friend just had a pretty big secret to share recently and my boyfriend told me in confidence. I never said a word to his friend and pretended to be oblivious and his friend ended up telling me himself!
If you’re boyfriend is going to trust you enough to keep those secrets to yourself, do him a favor and don’t spill the beans! You do not want to be the girlfriend that ends up causing issues between bros.
Don’t overanalyze their friendship
I had a very bad habit of overanalyzing my boyfriend’s relationship with his best friend for a long time. Like I mentioned, his best friend isn’t necessarily the best guy around (he actually reminds me of my ex) and that naturally instilled a fear in me. I worried my boyfriend would follow his lead, get persuaded, and act out like his friend. I allowed this to consume my thoughts every time they were together. It took a while for me to finally realize that they are not the same person and you need to do the same.
Your man and his friends are just that… friends! They are not the same person and your boyfriend will do the things HE WANTS to do. Not the things his friends do. We all have friends that probably aren’t the most ethical and moral people, but we still love them, right? Well, your boyfriend does too. Remember that their friendship has nothing to do with how they treat women, for example. What really matters is the quality of their friendship. Just leave it at that and let your boyfriend be.
Try to look your best
There is nothing wrong with being in pajamas with jacked up hair and no makeup in front of your man. He should always accept you the way that you are, even when you’re all natural! But, if you know you’re going out to meet his crowd for the night, dress up, do your hair and makeup and try to look your best. Your man will be impressed and go crazy over showing all of his buddies how sexy and beautiful you are. Plus, it’ll boost your confidence, too!
Try to keep your mouth shut
Bottom line, unless you have some serious or diabolical issue with your man’s friends, keep your opinions to yourself. At the end of the day, the people your boyfriend associates with are his choice and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Even though his friends may get immature and annoying, they’re still important to him and that fact should be important to you. Learn to open your mouth only when absolutely necessary.