Yes, men are not the only ones who can get controlling in a relationship, but no matter who it is that’s being controlling, I guarantee the one being controlled will not stay happy for long. Control creates a toxic relationship that should end right away. Women are plenty capable of being far too possessive, so here are 13 signs you need to look out for in your own relationship if you feel like you might be controlling your man a bit too much.
You get upset when he goes out with the guys
It’s obvious that you have some insecurities, jealousy, and control issues when you lose your mind while your boyfriend is out with the guys. Remember, trying to control what your man does while he is with his friends will only cause resentment towards you. Let him have his fun and his freedom. You CANNOT control what he chooses to do when you’re not around. Have faith in him and learn to trust him. If you work on this, your need to control will eventually fade.
You expect him to ask permission before making plans
There is no reason for you boyfriend to ask permission before making plans. You’re not his mother. He is a grown man and an individual who has the right to run his own schedule.
You demand his attention at all times
You have to accept that other people like his family, friends, and coworkers, will have his attention a lot of the time. As long as he does set aside time for you and your relationship, then this shouldn’t be a problem. You cannot be the center of his entire world, especially if you want a healthy relationship.
You blow up his phone when he’s not around
If you’re apart and you still feel the need to be in touch with him every second of the day, then you need to back off. Whether he’s relaxing at home, working, or with his buddies, he doesn’t need to give you a play-by-play of his entire day as it is happening. There’s nothing wrong with checking in with each other, but don’t go overboard. It’ll make him feel smothered.
If you can’t let your boyfriend out of your sight, then you need to loosen your grip on the relationship and your man. Let him do his own thing without you being all over him. It just makes you look needy and insecure. Have more confidence in yourself and go find your own hobbies.
You feel as if he belongs to you
This one is huge! If you’re controlling you probably feel some sort of ownership over your boyfriend, but YOU DO NOT OWN HIM! He is a human being who was doing just fine before he met you. You need to simply be a positive addition to his life. You’re his girlfriend, not his owner.
You’re constantly criticizing him
As difficult as it may be sometimes, it’s important to remember that your boyfriend is an individual who is perfectly capable of making his own decisions. Ultimately, the decisions he makes are HIS choice. He doesn’t need criticism and judgement for each and every one, even if you don’t agree. Your relationship will go much more smoothly if you just let him be himself and accept him for the way that he is.
You keep tabs on his social media and cell phone
NEVER SNOOP! That is one of the number one rules of a relationship, especially if you have trust issues. You don’t have to stalk his social media accounts, check his Facebook messages, or read his texts. He has every right to socialize with other people, so let him!
You get jealous easily
In order to control your need to… well, control, gain control of your jealousy! When you feel jealous you’ll feel the need to be on top of your boyfriend 24/7 and that will just smother the relationship and lead to a nasty ending. Trust that he’ll be faithful to you, trust that he truly loves you, and let the jealous tendencies go.
You have no respect for his alone time
Every man needs his space away from friends, family, and YOU! Yes, he needs to be away from you and everyone else sometimes, and it is not personal. If you don’t respect his need for alone time then you’re showing that you don’t respect him.
You belittle him
You should never put your boyfriend down and make him feel like he’s less than he is. When a controlling girlfriend belittles her boyfriend it’s a way to keep him in her grips and convince him to do what she wants. That is a form of relationship abuse and it is never okay. If you can’t love and accept him the way he is, you have no right to be with him.
You hold his past against him
Another way a controlling girlfriend maintains control over her boyfriend is to hold his past against him. It may be mistakes he’s made in your relationship, or mistakes he’s shared with you about his past. Allowing the past to influence your relationship so severely will only end up holding you both back.