Chances are, your boyfriend has some guy friends that might be a little on the immature side. Maybe they’re obnoxious, maybe they’re players, or maybe they just refuse to grow up. I know that my own boyfriend definitely has a few of them, and it took a lot of getting used to, but after using some of the tips below, I’ve learned to become a lot more comfortable with his friends and even accept them.
Don’t make him choose between you and his friends
First off, never expect him to make a choice between you and his friends. Yes, you’re his girlfriend, but his friends were probably there long before you. If you expect him to make a choice, he’ll either choose his friends or resent you for the rest of your relationship and neither of those will end well.
Get to know his friends
One of the easiest ways to handle his friends is getting to know them! By sitting and having an actual conversation with each of them you’ll get to see what they’re like without the rest of the guys around.
After having some one-on-one conversations with a few of my man’s friends we were both able to get a better understanding of each other. We were both able to see that we all want the best for him, even if it shows in different ways. It made my boyfriend feel really great, too! He loves seeing me get along with his friends.
Be honest with your boyfriend
It’s important to be open, honest, and communicate with your boyfriend about the way you feel about his friends. Explain why you may have certain feelings towards them, but be gentle. Keep in mind that these are important people in his life that he cares for. By being open and honest about your feelings towards his friends, your boyfriend may be able to give you some insight and reassurance.
Trust your boyfriend
One of my biggest issues was learning to trust my boyfriend above all else. For example, one of my boyfriend’s best friends is quite the player and I’ve been told by my boyfriend about how his friend cheated on his last girlfriend. Knowing all of this made me very nervous about him talking to/hanging out with this friend. I feared he’d convince my boyfriend to do something that could harm our relationship.
I discussed my fears with my boyfriend and quickly realized that just because one of his friends doesn’t respect his own relationships doesn’t mean that my boyfriend disrespects ours. As my boyfriend explained, his friend can’t convince him to do anything. If he were to do something that could harm our relationship, he’d do it because he chose to and he certainly doesn’t want to lose me, so therefore, I have nothing to worry about.
Always keep that in mind for your own relationship; nobody can force your partner to do anything. If they do something harmful to your relationship, it’s because they chose to. If a friend’s influence leads your boyfriend to cheat, then he’s far too weak for you, and you need to move on!
Think about your own friends
Consider your own friends for a moment… have any of your friends ever done something you disapproved of? I have a friend who was seeing a married man once. I love her to death and she’ll always be a part of my life, but I strongly disapproved of her actions. I have another friend who was cheating on her boyfriend with a coworker; which I also strongly disapproved of.
I had to keep in mind that just because I had friends who didn’t honor their own relationships, doesn’t mean that I don’t honor mine. Just because two people are friends does not mean that they behave the same. Your boyfriend and his immature friends are all very different people. Remember what a good man your boyfriend is and don’t let his friends’ behavior sway your opinion.
Be honest with his friends
If necessary, discuss your feelings with your man’s friend(s). A friend of my boyfriend’s continuously did something in front of me that made me very uncomfortable. I discussed the issue with my boyfriend and he assured me he would talk to his friend and made a promise that he would make sure it did not happen again. But, before my boyfriend could get the chance, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and discussed my issues with his friend myself.
He was very understanding, apologetic, and supportive of my relationship, and I later found out from my boyfriend that his friend mentioned how impressed he was with me and how much respect he had gained for me when I confronted him. I was polite, but firm! There’s nothing wrong with making sure that you’re getting the respect you deserve.
Does your guy have any friends that you have trouble with? How have you dealt with them?