Nobody wants a stage-five clinger. It’s frightening, frustrating, and most of all, stressful! A little cling is perfectly normal in the beginning of the relationship, but once the excitement of the new relationship wears off and you begin to get settled in, cling just gets weird and annoying.
In order to avoid being the clingy and obnoxious girlfriend, here are 9 tips you must follow!
Find the root of the problem
I have most definitely been this girl so I completely understand how difficult moving on from this state of mind can be, but before you can fix this problem, you must find the source. Often times, clinginess stems from jealousy, fear of abandonment, lack of trust, or low self-esteem. Find your reason(s) and work on solving that problem first. If you do that, the cling should wear off naturally. (Read 6 Signs That You’re Overthinking Your Relationship)
Get your own life
If you have nothing better to do than worry and wonder about where your boyfriend is or what he’s doing 24/7, then you need to get a life! Go out with friends that you’ve probably ditched, get a hobby, or go workout! If you keep yourself busy, you won’t have time to constantly wonder about your man and you’ll begin to respect his own time and space a little more. (Read 6 Things To Do Instead Of Obsessing Over Your Busy Boyfriend)
Build your trust
One of the biggest issues with being clingy is lacking trust in the relationship. Always remember that if you can’t trust him, you have no reason to be with him. Learn to relax, trust your man, and go with the flow. He’ll appreciate you more for it and it’ll ease your mind, creating a happier relationship for both of you. (Read 13 Signs That You’re In A Healthy Relationship)
Respect his privacy
Going through his text messages, call logs, Facebook messages, etc, will only make you look desperate. Even if you look through his phone and find nothing suspicious, you’ll begin to get a high off of it and you’ll continue to do it. That shows him that you don’t trust him and you don’t respect him. Respect his privacy just as he respects yours, and don’t be afraid to give him his freedom. (Read If You Secretly Want Your Boyfriend’s Life To Revolve Around You, Read This!)
Let him have his space
One of the best ways to avoid being a clingy girlfriend is to give your man space. That means respecting his alone time, his family time, and guys night out. By giving him time away from you you’re showing him that you trust him and respect that he has a life outside of the relationship just like you do. And trust me ladies, he’ll love you even more for it.
Build up your confidence
Like I mentioned, one of the big reasons you might be a clingy girlfriend is because you have low-self esteem. You cling to your man out of fear that he’ll leave you for someone better, or he’ll completely forget that he fell in love with you. Just stop it! Build yourself up and realize that your man fell in love with you and chose you for a reason, so stop trying to force feelings on him that he already has. Find activities that make you feel good about yourself and make them a priority. (Read Relationship Myth: Love is Blind)
Discuss your issues with him
If you keep quiet about your issues and just come off as clingy, your man might run for the hills. Explain how you have severe trust issues because your ex was a serial-cheater. If you explain it to him, he’s much more likely to understand why you behave the way that you do, and he’ll be more patient as you work through those issues. (Read 6 Unrealistic Relationship Goals That Women Have & Need To Ditch)
Let go of your fear and release control
Stop clinging to your man and waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Of course bad things happen in relationships; no one is perfect and life happens, but if you get too attached to your man and let time pass by without enjoying the relationship, you’ll miss all the good stuff. Quit being so afraid and quit trying to control your man and the direction of your relationship. Take a step back and just let things happen the way that they’re meant to.
Leave the past in the past
Forget about all the crappy things your ex did to you. Forget that your boyfriend did love someone else before you came along. Remember, all of this happened BEFORE YOU WERE TOGETHER. I know this is a difficult concept, but grasp it, and embrace it! Don’t let your own past or your boyfriend’s past (especially with other women) bother you. Everyone has a past and if you let it haunt you, you’ll never be able to move on. Accept the relationship you two share now and focus on all the good things. It’ll keep you from consistently worrying and turning to clingy behavior to make yourself feel more comfortable.
Are you/were you a clingy girlfriend? How did you overcome it?