Having a sweet, outgoing, funny, caring, good-looking boyfriend sounds great, right? Well, what happens when other women start to notice all these qualities in your man and start paying closer attention to him?
This can be a very intimidating situation to be in and I completely understand. In fact, it’s something I’ve had to face with my own boyfriend. I met my current beau at work when I transferred to a new location. We work in separate departments, but he’d had his eye on me long before I’d spotted him. After some flirting and a couple of dates, word got around quickly and before we knew it, everyone at work knew that we were having a fling.
He was already the ladies man and had befriended plenty of the females, but I was the one he ended up falling for. Our fling caused plenty of girls to give me the eye, but once we were official, it really threw them for a loop. The cute, funny guy was officially off the market….
This can be a pretty tough situation to be in, especially as an insecure girl, so I wanted to write to the rest of the girls out there who might be dealing with a similar situation. Here are a few things to remember…
You need to trust him
I feel like I write about trust quite a bit in my articles, but it’s because it is just that important. You have to faith that your man won’t let these ladies lingering eyes or flirty attitudes get to his head and persuade him to do anything that would disrespect you or jeopardize your relationship. Trust that he will set the ladies straight immediately if they try to get a little too friendly with him.
Don’t act possessive
When you and your man are around woman who have eyes for him, don’t be that girl who can’t leave his side or has to make sure that every single person in the room knows that he is all yours. All those woman will be thinking is that you look insecure and weak. Those woman will have no problem pushing even harder to get at your man, so be strong and confident. They’ll back off when they realize that there’s no point in being interested in him when his relationship is so secure and strong.
Take pride in him
Don’t look at this situation as a bad thing. Girl, be proud! If you catch a girl checking your man out, stand tall and think yeah, he’s good-looking and he’s all mine! At work, all the ladies want to chat it up with my man, and being polite, he’ll chat back without crossing any boundaries. When I expressed to an older coworker that it really bothered me at first, she reminded me of this and told me to pick my head up and hold it high. As long as he isn’t playing into their games, I should just enjoy it and remember how amazing my man is and how lucky I am to be the one to have him.
Make sure the boundaries are clear
Like I said, boundaries are important. If your man is playing into the glances and the flirting and returning it, then you have a very big problem. It’s important for a guy to be confident, but he shouldn’t have the “I can get whatever and whoever I want” attitude. He should have an understanding of what is respectful and what isn’t. There’s no reason for him to be rude to another girl, but he should make it very clear that he’s happily taken and isn’t interested in anything more than just chatting. If she continues to pursue him even after finding out that he’s taken, it’s best that he cuts all ties at that point. He has priorities, and random girls should not be one of them.
Remember that he chose YOU
This is by far the most important and the most comforting. When I would express my insecurities to my boyfriend about some of the other girls at work, he would always remind me of this. He’d say, “baby, if I wanted any of those girls, I would have been with one of them. I wouldn’t have fought so hard to get you.” And he’s right. He never had feelings or relationships with any of those girls, even before I came into his life, and he easily could have. He chose not to because he really didn’t want to! Remember the same thing about your man. He chose YOU. He chose you because he thinks you’re smart, and funny, and beautiful. If he wanted someone else, he would have gone for it long ago. He’s happy where he’s at and if he really loves you, those other girls can’t change his mind.
Have you ever been with a man like this? How did you handle it?