Jealousy is one of the ugliest parts of a relationship. A small amount of jealousy occasionally is natural, especially for women, but if you take it too far, it can cause a lot of stress on your relationship, especially if your man is innocent.
Just because you walk into his work to surprise him and see him laughing with an attractive female doesn’t mean anything is going on. Chances are, as soon as you catch his eye, he’ll grab you and quickly introduce you. When you have jealous tendencies, you’d completely ignore the fact that he introduced you to this attractive coworker and that she immediately commented on how much she’s heard about you and how nice it is to finally meet you. Instead, you’re just going to simmer on the fact that they were talking and laughing together. This jealousy will then boil into an argument which leads to accusations, and your partner will conclude that you just don’t trust him.
If this type of situation sounds familiar, listen up….
Put yourself in his shoes
You innocently chat with attractive male coworkers, right? Does it ever mean anything? Of course not! You’re in love with your own man! It’s the same with your boyfriend or husband. Look at it from this point of view and you’ll realize that you have nothing to be jealous about. (Read 6 Ways to Deal With an Overly-Friendly Boyfriend)
Remember that you have no reason not to trust him (unless you do)
If you’ve had some serious issues with your man and other women, this post probably isn’t for you, but if you haven’t, pay attention. You need to trust him! Keep in mind that there are other beautiful women out there, and he’ll notice, but YOU are the beautiful woman he is choosing to devote himself to and that’s all that should matter. If you don’t have trust, you don’t have a healthy foundation to your relationship. You cannot love someone the way they deserve to be loved until you trust them wholeheartedly. Trust him the way he trusts you! (Read 9 Acts That Are Damaging Your Relationship)
Tell them how you feel
Even if you know that your jealousy is irrational (and it probably is), communicate your feelings with your partner. If you avoid it, it’s going to build up and turn into a disaster later when all of your feelings finally come flooding out. Tell them right away what’s bothering you so you can work on this issue together. (Read 4 Reasons Why Communication is Vital for a Healthy Relationship)
Let them reassure you
The first thing your partner will do when you explain that you feel jealous is try to reassure you that you have nothing to worry about. Don’t push them away when they do this. With mixed emotions you’re probably going to roll your eyes and ignore their efforts, but don’t! Listen to them tell you that you’re the only girl they want, how much they love you, and how sexy and beautiful you are to them. Smile… he means it.
Stop assuming the worst
As a jealous girl you see your man talking to another woman and immediately jump to the conclusion that he must be attracted to her. Do they chat on the phone late at night? Is he sharing secrets with her? STOP! Just stop right now. Nothing weird is happening. Unless you have proof of something, calm the hell down. By always assuming the worst, you’re just setting yourself up for failure.
Stop comparing yourself
Just because she may have a thinner body, a nicer butt, shinier hair, or a brighter smile, doesn’t mean a damn thing. Being physically attractive to a man is one thing, but to be the girl who he has bared his soul and given his heart to is the best. Don’t compare yourself to those girls because you are the one he is choosing to share his life with. If that other girl is the one he wanted, he’d be with her instead of you, but he’s not. He’s yours.
If you overreacted and acted like the “crazy girlfriend” apologize for your actions. It shows your boyfriend that you recognize your mistake and that you’re working to do better. It’ll leave you two in a better place and help you with your trust and communication.
How have you overcome your jealous tendencies?