There are plenty of girls who get anxious just at the thought of their man going out for a night on the town with his friends. As much as I hate to admit it, I was one of them due to jealousy, insecurities, and an anxiety disorder and honestly, I still struggle sometimes. But, I’ve come a very long way since I tried these tips and learned to become comfortable with getting that “I’m going out with the guys” text and these tips can work for you too!
Put yourself in his shoes
So imagine one of your girlfriends wants to meet up for dinner after work tonight to catch up. Do you want to sit there and worry about your man getting upset about it? Of course not, so don’t do that to him! Chances are, when you tell him you plan to go out, you’ll get a response like “Okay, baby. Be safe and have fun. Tell her I said hi! I love you.” He deserves that same respect. If it really makes you feel better, ask him to give you a call on his way home. If you don’t give him grief about going out, then that shouldn’t be a problem.
Keep yourself busy
Don’t sit around being sad and lonely just because he’s out with the boys. Take advantage of the quiet house and quiet phone and do something you’ve been putting off like doing your nails, watching your favorite movie, catching up on your book, or running errands by yourself. (Read 6 Things To Do Instead of obsessing Over Your Busy Boyfriend)
Go out with the girls
If he has a guys’ night planned for next weekend, try to set something up with your own friends! Since you know he’ll be busy take advantage of that and set up a girls’ night. It’ll keep you busy and you won’t feel so alone while your man is out doing his thing.
Get to know his friends
As a girlfriend that suffers from anxiety, I understand that it can be scary when your man is going out with someone you’ve never met. You might wonder what they’ll be up to or if this friend will try to get your man to anything that could threaten your relationship. So meet his friends and get to know them a bit so you’ll feel more comfortable and secure that your man is in good hands while he’s out and about.
And remember… if you know that he’s a good man, it doesn’t matter what his friends are like. He’ll only do something to damage your relationship if HE CHOOSES to. If he loves you and he’s faithful to you, nobody (even his closes friends) could ever convince him otherwise.
Discuss your anxieties with your man
Communication is key here. Sit down with your man and discuss your anxieties and concerns with him, even if you know they’re irrational. Talk them through and chances are, your man is going to be understanding and help to reassure you until your anxieties improve. (Read 4 Reasons Why Communication is Vital for a Healthy Relationship)
Figure out where your concerns stem from
Now that you’re man understands how you feel, it’s time to do your part and start working on figuring out where these anxieties stem from and how to fix them. For example, if your ex boyfriend used to lie about where he was going when he said he was going out with friends, you can’t pin that on your new man. Your boyfriend is human and he will make mistakes (we all do), but you can’t give him crap for mistakes that he hasn’t made. It’s not fair to him or your relationship. That is an anxiety that has nothing to do with your boyfriend. Ultimately, that is something you have to learn to move on from on your own. By recognizing these issues, it is completely possible to overcome them. Just be patient with yourself along the way.
Learn to trust him
Unless your man gives you a reason not to trust him, then you need to let go of those fears. Believe me when I say that I know how difficult it is, but it’s necessary. You’ll never have a successful relationship if you don’t learn to trust him. I’m not saying it’ll happen overnight, but it’s something to work towards. If he says he’s going to Mike’s house to watch the basketball game, then know that he is going to Mike’s house to watch the game. If plans change, he’ll give you a heads up if he doesn’t have anything to hide or he’ll let you know later on.
Stop overthinking and wondering what else could possibly be going on. Understand that he means what he says and if anything else comes up, he’ll respect you enough to let you know, especially if he understands your anxieties.
Keep in mind how much your man trusts you. It feels good, doesn’t it? Give your man that same freedom and trust. It’ll help you better yourself and it’ll bring you and your man even closer.